Post by kiwii ღ on Jul 4, 2012 2:41:30 GMT -5
| [atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,335,true][atrb=style, background: transparent,btable][STYLE=width: 300px; border-bottom: solid 5px #610B21; margin-top: 50px;] [/style][STYLE=font-style: italic; font-size: 40px; font-family: georgia; margin-top: -41px; letter-spacing: -1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #DFCC64; text-shadow: 0px 0px 1px #000000;]DO YOU FEEL LIKE[/style][STYLE=background: url(http://i417.photobucket.com/albums/pp256/doggydude24/LinYin%20icons/Picture11-1.png); width: 100px; height: 100px; -webkit-border-radius: 100px; -moz-border-radius: 100px; border-radius: 100px; border: solid 5px #610B21; position: relative; float: right; margin-top: -60px; margin-right: -40px] [/style][STYLE=font: normal 11px courier; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: justify; line-height: 90%; width: 261px; color: #AE9F4E; margin-top: -5px; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #100000;]A MAN WHEN YOU PUSH HER AROUND? DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW AS SHE FALLS TO THE GROUND? WELL I'LL TELL YOU MY FRIEND, ONE DAY THIS WORLD'S GOING TO[/style] |
| [STYLE=font: normal 10px arial; text-align: justify; border-right: solid 5px #610B21; padding: 10px; margin-top: -20px; color: #2A0A12; border-top: 1px #610B21 dotted;]They were at it again. Screaming, shouting, yelling in each other's ear - or maybe that had only been part of Toshiko's tendency, whereas Shinkuto was so capable of keeping himself calm and relaxed as he watched the girl made such a fool out of herself. It would all go just as smoothly as their last argument, which didn't exactly go very 'smoothly', but nonetheless would fit well with their set standards of what was considered a 'normal' argument; Toshiko would, again, fail to prove her own point because Shinkuto most likely will have, again, found a way to manipulate her words and somehow get her to question her own reason for saying such things to him. She would resort to more yelling, more denial of his occasionally accurate claims, and more insults on his 'stupid' hair color and his 'stupid' face and his 'stupid stupidness'. Shinkuto, turning up wholly unaffected by her attempts at criticism a majority of the time, would have no shame in calling her such things as a failure and an idiot and a grotesque person all around, but in such ways that sounded so honest, and would come so close to making her believe him... His words; they stung like venom, and despite all of what she was and wasn't willing to show to anyone, they left incredible dents in her self esteem, as well as a certain place in her heart. Knowing full well that each of these insults that he directed to her were fueled by such a strong hatred, Toshiko didn't doubt for a minute that the odds of him ever coming to forgive her were disturbingly low. But what did she care? Did it even bother her? Was there truly anything that she longed for when considering those odds? Forgiveness was such a frivolous thing; she'd gone through her whole life without caring to use it on a lot of people, and on many different occasions had found that she'd really never needed it in the first place. You could say that in the case of Nakamura Shinkuto, there was now an exception to that one theory of hers. Because she knew that if he'd just let go of this stupid grudge he'd been holding against her for so long, it wouldn't hurt so badly whenever he called her ugly or weak or unworthy in any sense, because he most likely wouldn't do so as often as before. Not only that, but it also wouldn't sting so goddamn much when watching him turn to walk away from her, not at all knowing if that'd be the very last time he was ever willing to talk to her again or not. And her eyes would watch him, wearing a look that somehow managed to hide her desperate inner cries of "Fix me! Fix me!" Wasn't it ironic to think that she was hoping to be 'fixed' by the one person who had always been there just to break her down? And Nakamura Shinkuto... He was just so fucking good at that. For the sake of her slowly depleting self esteem as well as her sanity, she was always telling herself that his words meant nothing to her. His opinions? Nothing. His thoughts? Nothing. His will to forgive her? Nothing. Nothing at all, that's right! And he meant absolutely nothing to her as well! ...or so she told herself. But ah, she had always been such a horrible liar, especially to herself. [/style] |
