Post by ARI ♏ on Aug 21, 2012 21:24:21 GMT -5
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[/b][/color] She had mused aloud to him, sitting on the edge of his bed in the middle of the night as he had shrunk away from her. “Your very own personal demon has the name of a demon. How funny! How positively queer. We’ll laugh about it later, you and I,”[/b][/color] And then she had disappeared. In the first few months, her appearances had been short and quick, to the relief of the Nakamura boy. Lilith had appeared, spouted a couple of lines, and then flickered out of sight again. But she had had a way of drawing the male in to conversation with her, saying such things that he couldn’t help but respond, even though he knew he probably shouldn’t. He was a weak sort of person, he knew that; it was in his nature to accommodate others. And the more they spoke, the stronger she seemed to become, showing up for hours on end, until at last, Lilith’s presence was a constant in his mind, something which, looking back, he didn’t doubt had been her goal all along.[/style]
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[atrb=style, border-top: 30px solid #3F0F0F;][STYLE=height: 80px; width: 80px; border: 4px solid #5B3333; float: left; margin-left: 6px; margin-top: -70px; background-color: #5B3333;][STYLE=opacity: 0.9;] [/style][/style][STYLE=height: 60px; width: 60px; border: 4px solid #5B3333; float: left; margin-left: 6px; margin-top: -80px; background-color: #5B3333;][STYLE=opacity: 0.9;][/style][/style][STYLE=float: right; width: 230px; text-align: center; margin-top: -60px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 33px; letter-spacing: -2px; font-style: italic; text-transform: lowercase; font-weight: bold; color: #B98383;]IT'S HARD TO DANCE[/style][STYLE=float: right; width: 228px; text-align: center; margin-top: -21px; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #A77474; font-weight: bold;]WITH THE DEVIL ON YOUR BACK[/style][STYLE=float: right; border-left: 5px solid #5B3333; width: 330px; font-family: arial; font-size: 11px; line-height: 11px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 40px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; margin-top: -10px;]NOTES: set in an alternate universe where Hideki is delusional and Lilith is a hallucination produced by his slowly disintegrating mind, who only he can see. It had started with a series of quick, rapid-fire projections, ones that he spotted out of the corner of his eye right before they flickered away and disappeared out of existence, leaving him wondering whether there had even been anything there in the first place. When he asked others if they had spotted something, their replies were always the same; no, no, and no again. He had tried convincing himself that it was nothing to worry about, nothing that deserved thinking about. He was fine, this was just the result of lack of sleep, or stress, or something along those lines. It would go away eventually. Except it hadn’t. It had just gotten worse. No one else apart from Hideki knew about her; he hadn’t gotten up the courage to tell anyone else that his every waking moment, and most of his sleeping ones too, were plagued by her. She had wormed her way in to his head and taken root there, dissecting and examining his every thought, trying to coerce him in to amusing her. He tried telling himself that she was just a hallucination brought on by his slowly decaying mind, an idea which she sometimes agreed with, and sometimes did not. Her only aim, from what he could tell, was to keep him guessing, keep him nice and tormented and in doubt. But who was ‘she’, exactly? On their first conversation, she had introduced herself as Lilith, a name which, she had explained to him, was also shared by the very first demon ever created in the history of the world. “Fitting, isn’t it?” |
Sitting at the dining table, Hideki kept his head low, his bangs falling in front of his eyes and shielding most everything except the table immediately in front of him from sight. He heard a chair scrape out, and someone sit in it- his older brother Shuuichi, he had no doubt. He hadn’t even told him about his delusions- he’d probably just laugh at him, after all. That was what older brothers did, right? That was what Lilith had said he would do, if Hideki told him about her. That was what everyone would do, she had told him. Hallucinating about some random girl? They would laugh it off and go back to leading their picture perfect lives, instantly forgetting about their young family member’s crazy story. And though, at the time, Hideki had argued his hardest with her, a tiny part of him couldn’t help but agree with her words. He had no history of mental problems; no one in his family did. It did sound crazy, the fact that he was imagining up this long-haired, sly-eyed girl. Who would believe him? He was just the lowest of the low in this family. And even if they did acknowledge his problem, he didn’t want them to ship him off to a rehabilitation center and have people ply at him twenty-four-seven, forcing pills down his throat and locking him away from the rest of the world. If any one of his family found out about this, he had no doubt that was what they would do; put him away and completely forget about him. That was how Nakamuras dealt with problems.
He could hear the clatter of fork against plate as Shuuichi began to eat his dinner. Resolutely, he kept his head bowed, staring at his own portion of food sitting in front of him. As of yet, it was untouched. He just didn’t have the stomach for food anymore.
“Deki?” Shuuichi’s voice came. “Oi, Deki, look up for once at your big brother when he’s talking to you. Come on, all you ever do is stare at the table. It’s really nothing special. Trust me on this one. Nothing to be scared of out here.”
“No, there really isn’t,” Lilith’s voice said.
Hideki’s head jerked up so fast that he almost got whiplash. Sitting on the other side of the table was Shuuichi, staring at him like he had two heads, and there, standing right behind him, was her. Frantically, his eyes flickered back between her and his brother. It was still hard to believe that no one else could see her. She just looked so real, like she was a physically tangible person, someone capable of settling down at their table right now and striking up a conversation with the Nakamura siblings. Yet Hideki knew from past experience that even if she did that, Shuuichi wouldn’t hear a single word. He’d just stare at his increasingly worrisome brother.
“Deki?” Shuuichi repeated again, giving him an odd look. “Are you okay? That was kind of….uh….sudden,”
Nodding her head, Lilith sat herself down on a chair a little away from the older brother, so that she might have an excellent vantage point of the two of them. “Go ahead, Hideki, tell the nice boy you’re fine. Tell him everything’s alright.
The worst part about these dual conversations was how distracting they were. He was never quite sure where to look; at his brother, at Lilith, or down at his slightly trembling hands.
“Deki?” A third time.
Lilith clapped her hands together, the noise painfully loud to Hideki’s ears, causing him to wince slightly. “What a good brother he is! Look at him, acting all ‘caring’. It’s cute, that’s what it is. Nigh on adorable, I’d say,”
Training his gaze on his older brother, not without some effort, Hideki attempted a tiny smile, which turned out in to a mere twitch of his lips. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, S-Shuuichi,”[/b] he replied, his voice quiet, his stutter more evident than usual. He attempted to relax himself for his brother’s sake. He knew Shuuichi worried about him; that was just another thing older siblings did, he supposed. He had to at least try to be at ease, for his brother’s peace of mind. “I’m just a-a little…”[/b] he paused, trying to think of the right word.
“Worried?” suggested Lilith from her chair, tilting an eyebrow skywards. “Crazy? No, don’t use that word, that might give the whole game away, and we wouldn’t want that. Can’t have them parting us, now can we, ‘Deki’? she drew out his pet name mockingly, letting it hang in the air.
Attempting to ignore her as best he could, Hideki focused his gaze on Shuuichi. “S-stressed,”[/b] he finished. And then, relenting a bit to the curious look in the other male’s eye, he continued. “I-it’s, uh…it’s a girl,”[/b] Technically, it was correct. Even though she was a figment of his mind, Lilith could be classified as a girl. He just wanted to make this issue something easy for his brother. Hallucinations, there was no way Shuuichi would be able to understand. Girls? That was by far a simpler topic- though not by much, if one were to ask Shuuichi for his opinion. Women were apparently complicated things.
His worried expression easing up, Shuuichi nodded sagely. “A girl, huh? Well, good luck with that, bro. Women are complicated creatures, y’know,”
Hideki nodded weakly in reply. “Y-yeah…y-you’ve, uh, told me before,”[/b]
“He’s an amusing character, your brother,” Lilith remarked thoughtfully. She had gotten up from her chair and was slowly prowling around behind Shuuichi, walking her fingers across his shoulder, unbeknownst to him. He just kept staring at his brother, waiting for his reply. “I watch him sometimes, you know, when I’m not busy with you. Not as interesting as you are, though, of course. Don’t worry, Deki, you’ll always be my number one. You’ll never escape me. I’m always with you, forever and ever and ever-”
His sudden rise from the table caused his chair to tumble backwards, smacking against the floor with a noisy clatter. Stumbling back from the table, Hideki gave a little jerky nod at Shuuichi, before turning around and walking as fast as he could away from the table. “I-I’ve gotta go!”[/b]
Shuuichi’s puzzled look had returned back at full force. “But you haven’t even touched your dinner!”
“I’m not hungry!”[/b] He called out frantically over his shoulder. “J-just eat without me!”[/b]
He could hear Lilith laughing behind him, a mocking chortle that echoed in his head as he rounded a corner and began pounding up the stairs to his room, taking them two at a time. It didn’t matter where he ran; she would always be waiting for him at the end of the road. That didn’t stop him from trying; he couldn’t help but cling on to the fragile, impossible hope that maybe, if he ran fast enough, she wouldn’t be able to follow.
Almost slipping on the smooth, polished hardwood floor in his haste, Hideki grabbed on to his doorknob and yanked. The first time, his clammy hand slipped off. With a mumbled curse, he clutched at it with both hands and turned. The door had barely begun creaking open before he had stumbled in, slamming his door behind him as he did so. Panting slightly, he closed his eyes and leaned backwards against the door, resting his entire weight on it. He didn’t want to open his eyes just yet and see Lilith, calmly perching on his desk, swinging her legs back and forth. Or perhaps lying languidly on the floor, sprawled out in a comfortable position and staring up at him with an amused sort of spark in her eye. He had just made his escape from her; he didn’t want to have to deal with her just yet all over again. Though, he didn’t really have much choice in the matter, did he? H-hah...
He scrunched his eyes shut even tighter, waiting for the remark he knew was soon to come. Lilith never remained quiet for long; that just wasn’t her. Any moment now, she would pipe up and offer him some sort of toying, calculated remark meant to screw with his head. Any moment now…
One moment passed. And then another. Tentatively, cautiously, Hideki cracked one eyelid open a sliver. Nothing. There was no one in his room. No one sitting on his bed, no one examining his bookshelves, no one perched near his desk…nothing. The room was completely empty of anyone.
Puzzled, Hideki allowed both his eyes to open. Glancing around, he took one unsure step forward, and then another-
“Boo,”
From behind, someone gave him a shove. Yelping, Hideki stumbled, and then crashed on to the floor, his body colliding painfully with it. His vision blurred momentarily from the pain, the male nonetheless forced his body to turn itself over, to look at the attacker. Sure enough, when everything finally slid back in to view, there was Lilith, standing right in front of him, hands on her hips and a particularly pleased expression on her face.
“Oh, I love getting your little hopes up and then stomping all over them!” she exclaimed, her lips curving upwards in a fond smirk. “You deserved that, you know that? Running away from me like that, hurting my poor tender feelings…haven’t we been over this, Hideki? Don’t you know you can’t run away from me?”
With some effort, the Nakamura male propped himself up on his elbows. Flicking his eyes up to meet hers, he opened his mouth, intending to defend himself. What came out instead was unintended, and surprised even himself.
“Why don’t you just leave me alone?”[/b]
His directness surprised her; he could tell from the way she blinked, her form stilling itself for a brief moment, her smirk disappearing. He thought he saw her shape flicker, just a bit.
Her smirk returned, this time slowly, drawing up the edges of her mouth. Her eyes gleamed in an unsettling way, making the male swallow nervously. Her arms dropped down to her sides, right before she leisurely knelt down right in front of Hideki. His eyes blinked anxiously, displaying his uneasiness at this sudden behavior. What was she doing?
“Why, Hideki, didn’t you know?” she began conversationally. Placing her hands on the ground in front of her, she began to crawl forwards, over and on to Hideki, who gave a little muted squeak of shock. Her movements were slow and exaggerated; also casual, as if she were used to crawling on top of strange boys every day.
Sitting herself down on his chest, her legs straddling his torso, the brunette tilted her head to the side. Her eyes locked on to the Nakamura’s, refusing to allow him to tear his gaze away and inspect the ceiling so that he could pretend that there currently wasn’t a person hovering over him.
“I can’t leave you, Hideki,” she continued, her voice slightly more hushed now that their proximity was closer. One hand came up to push down on his shoulder forcefully; his elbows automatically gave way at the pressure, causing his head to fall back down to the floor. The other hand began to walk its fingers up his chest, towards his throat. “I’ll never leave you. You’re such a good person, Deki. You need someone like me to balance you out. We complete each other, you and I,” On ‘you’, her fingers stopped pacing a trail up his torso and poked him sharply in the middle of his chest. Leaning down closer, so that her head hovered above his only by a few inches, she suddenly smiled. Hideki remained where he was, frozen in place, his chest rising and falling quickly with each silent, nervous breath. Her face was uncomfortably close to his own. Were hallucinations even supposed to act like this? How was this even happening?
“I’ll be the little devil on your shoulder, Hideki~” she sang out softly, chuckling a little at the end. “Whenever you need me, I’ll be there, whispering in to your ear. And even when you don’t need me, I’ll still be there. Just because,” Exhaling, Lilith blew a puff of cold air on to his ear. Hideki couldn’t help but shiver at the sudden, tickling sensation.
The sound of a knob turning; the door squeaking open. Shuuichi stepped in, entering in the typical fashion of a brother refusing to knock. His gaze was immediately drawn towards the male lying on the floor. A bemused expression quickly filtered itself on to his face. “Deki? What’re you doing there?”
Slowly, Hideki once again propped himself up on his elbows. His hallucination was gone; she had flickered out of existence once again as soon as the sound of Shuuichi entering had struck their ears. The Nakamura turned his head first left, and then right, checking for Lilith. The female was nowhere in sight. He knew, though, that it wouldn’t last for long. She always returned before too much time had passed. Always.
With a sigh, Hideki turned his head back to face his brother. “N-nothing, Shuuichi. Nothing.”[/b]
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