Post by vy on Jul 4, 2012 9:44:44 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,425,true][atrb=style,border: 5px double acacac;][bg=#dbdbdb][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,5,true][atrb=valign,top,true] [STYLE=letter-spacing: 8px;background: #A2A2A2; color: dbdbdb; font-size: 10px; text-transform: uppercase;]Half of me's all about apathy,[/style][STYLE=letter-spacing: 0px; ; font-weight: bold; background: #D1D1D1; color:8b8b8b; text-transform: uppercase;] And the other half just doesn't care. [/style] [STYLE=width: 100px; height: 100px; float: left; margin-right: 5px; margin-left: 0px; border: 5px double acacac;]  [/style][STYLE=margin-left: 125px; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/YGDXc.png); width: 300px; height: 10px;] [/style][STYLE=background: #D1D1D1; color:5d5d5d; margin-left: 125px; width: 260px; padding:20px;height:250px;overflow:-moz-scrollbars-vertical;overflow-y: auto;]You stared at your new family, at the woman that your father had married to after the divorce and your new siblings. Your father introduced them to you and you to them and you extend your hand. They say how happy they are to meet you and how they are looking forward to getting to know you more. Such formalities really and you repeated it as well before taking a short pause. "Oh but there is something you should know about me first." you started as if it was an after thought. "I killed my own brother." They gave you a weird look, possibly because of the words you have said or maybe it was because of how blank your face was. You didn't really know but you didn't really care either. "Just a fair warning." You continued the polite smile still on your face. You can feel people eying you and then your father for some explanation. He simply stated that he felt guilt for his brother's death but that wasn't it. That wasn't even close to it. [/style] You remembered your little brother. He was only two years younger than you but he loved you like an idol. Your parents were rarely home as they had work to do so he would cling to you. You never understood why tough since everyone loved him. He can easily make so many friends unlike you who others saw as strange. You who rarely speak and are always by yourself but he would try to talk to you. You would respond to him from time to time but usually he would just do all the talking. He would tell you about his day, what he learned and at times try to impress you but you never really cared too much. Not that you hated her but you didn't like him either. If anything you felt nothing for him. He was just someone who was there just like the neighbors in your street or the classmates in your class. One day though when he was eight he got sick. Your parent told you that since you were the older sibling you had to watch him. That was nothing new though. He gets sick all the time after all and you've done it before. You gave a nod and when they left as usual you would just tell him to call out if he needed you while you go read a book. Too bad that you finished the book though so you walked over to his room and told him you were going out, that it won't be long and he should just say in his bed. After that you walked out and saw the snow that was falling. You saw some kids having fun or being marveled but you weren't mesmerized. You didn't think about the snowballs, snowmen or snow angels you can make. Didn't think about how pretty it looked, no all you thought about was that it was cold. With a small sigh you just continued on walking. You knew someone was following you though...no you also knew who when you walked by a shop. You saw the reflection in the mirror of you little brother. Someone didn't listen but you didn't care. If he wanted to follow then let him, it was none of your business. So you continued on walking to get to the bookstore and on the way you see him becoming sluggish but you didn't bother to slow down. You wanted to get out of the cold already so you won't get sick like he was. Then there was a small thud and you turned around. People started to run over crowding your brother calling for the ambulance while you simply walked over carefully sliding through the crowd. Ahhh he had fainted. The ambulance came and you came along as you were his brother. In the end he was dead. He died because of you. You knew he was following, you knew he was sick and you knew that he probably would not make it. You saw the signs but you didn't care. You merely sat in the hospital waiting for your parents. They came crying over the death of their son and you didn't get why. It wasn't like they didn't have one more. No, it wasn't because you were jealous of your younger brother either. You weren't happy that he was gone but you were definitely not grieving over him. You just blankly stared at your parents who glared at you. Maybe they would yell at you for what you did. You were suppose to look after him but no they cried and you didn't get why. It was so weird but it was better than being yelled at you suppose. At least that was what you first thought about after the five minutes your mother wouldn't stop and it was getting annoying. Why won't she just shut up already? Still you kept quiet anyway. At the funeral you kept quiet and didn't cry. You were curious as to why people didn't yell at you for being a horrible brother or for killing him. Something like you were jealous so you killed him or whatever stupid soap opera plots they could think of. Yet none of that came, no accusation, no yells, no hits, no what came was..pity. "You poor thing so shock you can't even cry." one of them told him as they hugged him. "It's okay he's in a better place where he won't get sick. It's not your fault." Another stated. It went on and on. About how bad they felt for him. How they think he was shocked. How he should move on for his brother. How it was okay for him to cry and that he didn't have told hold it in. Yet you would just politely smile and thank them each time and they would continue to give you that look of pity. They said it was due to shock you didn't cry but they were wrong. A part of you saw it coming. They said you were smiling because you wanted to act tough. Another wrong theory since you were smiling because you just wanted to be polite and get this over with. They said that everything was going to be okay now but nothing was wrong in the first place. Nothing changed for you at all. Well maybe except for the fact that your parents started to argue. They argued on every little thing possibly taking it out on each other. You really didn't get why they even stayed together if they kept arguing and so one day you asked them. Maybe all this time they were waiting for an excuse or maybe they didn't realize it until you pointed it out but they got a divorce. The court told you to go with your father and you obliged. You didn't care which one you went to after all. It didn't take long for him to get remarried to the woman but you didn't hate her nor did you hate her children who were polite to you as you watched your father explain his version. The version everyone believed and you merely stared. You can see them giving eyes of pity and told them that it was in the past and that it was okay. They thought you were sad. They thought you felt guilty but they were wrong. You felt nothing and soon they learned that. It only took three months for them to start to fear you, to avoid you. The only time they talk to you was during diner. They came to their -your- parents to tell them something was wrong with you. Your family sent you to a therapist but they said nothing was wrong. Then again maybe that was because you lied and well, they didn't think a ten year old kid would ever be able to lie. They simply passed it off as kids being kids or maybe they didn't want to think that they brought someone that was emotionless, uncaring...a sociopath into this world. Too bad for them that they did huh? Too bad for them indeed but you didn't care. You never did. |
Credit to Memzard of BTN
